Monday, 28 July 2008

Petition to Ban Fairytales


Inspired by an idea from my sister.

To whom it may concern,


For the following reasons we hereby request that fairytales be banned from the surface of the earth:

1) 99% of women on earth are not princesses and never will be, regardless of what their fathers have said to them!

2) There are very few beautiful and kind women; those attributes are usually mutually incompatible.

3) Chivalry is dead and gone to its grave.

(Men of today are too chicken to save themselves, much less another)

4) Even if chivalry was alive it should be murdered because it is a misogynistic concept based on the fact that women need saving; we can assure you, they do not!

5) We have searched high and low for a happily ever after and have found none.

6) There is a very thin, almost non-existent, line between good and evil and most earthlings linger at this border!

7) The blonde, beautiful, skinny princess has created the blonde, beautiful, skinny model which in turn has created the brunette, plain, overweight anorexic/bulimic teenager.

8) They deceive naive girls into thinking that if they sit pretty and wait, "he" will magically find them. This has resulted in an army of bitter and confused 40-something spinsters.

9) They have conviced generations that to be happy one must fall in love but, they never warn about the searing pain that follows when one hits the ground head first!

10) The expectations they create are the leading trigger for many psychiatric disorders, individual disatisfactions and general societal unhappiness.

In conclusion, it should be considered child-abuse to read fairytales to innocent children about to fall asleep. While they might be be entertaining in the short term, they leave a trail of emotional terror and destruction.

Fairytales should be viewed as a potent threat to modern civilisation and thus be completely eradicated from society.

6 comments:

General Besh said...

like this piece, think you re a bit looney though

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you on this one.
I have always thought so
was speaking to an 12 year old girl a while ago and she was telling me her "plans" for relationships and marriage, i felt so sorry for her.
"Romantic" happy- ending movies should be banned as well.

Anonymous said...

i think your rong !
i love fairy tales and i also liek pretending to be a princess what is the point in bing sinncal about farytales when they make the world a much MUCH happer place :)
and ok i know i might not find price charming before im past and coverd in wrinkles ! but is ther any ting so wrong wiht me hoping wethout people giving me the ' farytales arnt realy ' talk ! and p.s DISNEYLAND RULES !!!

Anonymous said...

Just thinking about it after listening to the radio, but ever think about what's wrong with Prince Charming? He's obviously a psychopath, going around with his fluffy hair and kissing defenceless, sleeping women. We know he's a psychopath because of his name, Prince CHARMING. The best fairy tales do for society today are examine psychiatric disorders and warn the parent ahead of time.

On the subject of romantic happy-ending movies, ther's more then 6 BILLION people on the Earth, chances are the events of the movie must at least happen once in our lifetime, even if it's not our life. :D

Studio of Modé said...

interesting.

Anonymous said...

I understand why you oppose to the themes in fairy tales, but it's just symbolism. A lot of the older traditional fairy tales are more about instilling fear into the minds of readers... whether it be the fear of God or the fear of life/people. I think it's important to look beyond the images of the princess saved by prince charming, blah blah blah, and look at how sometimes it's necessary to do this in order to create clear themes of good versus evil.

....When I talk about fairy tales I'm not talking about the adaptations of the last hundred years. I'm referring to the original ones which weren't so warm and fuzzy.