Sunday, 13 July 2008
My writing phobia.
Whenever I begin to write, I seldom have a concrete idea of what I want to say. But, as I start thoughts begin to collate and order themselves in an organized manner such that writing brings me clarity and freedom from the chaotic disorder of jumbled thoughts that occur in my mind.
If this is so why don't I write more? I started this blog in April with the intent of writing something at least every week in order that I might have a more ordered thought life. However, this did not happen.
I love writing. I really do but, I am too critical of myself to accept much of my writing which I consider substandard. Most times when I write something and re-read it, it screams amateur to me and this rejection of my written word starts a chain reaction which disengages me from the process of writing.
I don't want to start because each time I write I disappoint myself or rather my estimation of what my writing should be.
However, as I have previously mentioned, writing is the best way for me to find out what I am really thinking.
Consequently, by extrapolation perhaps being too afraid to write means that I am too afraid to face my thoughts and ultimately, myself.