Wednesday, 30 July 2008

The Sex Files: Part 3 - The Hallelujah

Though it really shouldn’t, it surprises many to know that I am pro abstinence.

I see the disappointed or shocked looks amongst the liberals and the disbelief amongst the conservatives whenever I voice this thought.

That is why it is crucial for me to reassert that I don’t judge those who differ with me on this point; my friends will testify to this.

I crave your indulgence to follow my reasoning:

As previously established, no sexual urges are unnatural. Regardless of society’s view, all human sexual behaviour is natural.

Consequently, within the spectrum of human sexual behaviour, anyone is capable of anything.

You might think to yourself, “That’s impossible I could never do this or that!” but, remember that this very opinion is a judgement ingrained by your religio-socio-political upbringing.

In a different context; you never know what you might be capable of.

Back to my point,

Sexual urges, like any of our other mammalian urges such as the need for food and water, can never be completely satisfied. It can be temporarily satiated but once that begins it can never be quenched; this is the natural design and a slippery slope that I feel unable to manoeuvre.

On the other hand, sex tied to the emotion of love is much more than satisfying a basic need. It is an expression of something deep, something special, and something lasting.

This is the reason for the Creator’s instruction.

He wants us to experience the Hallelujah* in all of its glory!

I can’t wait...

Actually I can, and I will by His Grace.

*To catch a glimpse: Listen to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.

In Part 4, which I will release in a couple of days, I will be discussing homosexuality and the gay marriage debate. Don’t even try and guess my opinion cause unless you’ve heard me speak on the issue; you can’t!

Until then, ruminate on these things while I return to lighter issues.


Anonymous said...

uhm, how old r u? I am currently in this dilemma but i don't know if i can follow through. The thing is I am still very young though so I am wondering how long you have abstained. Like you though, I dont judge others. It is a personal choice for me, one that might not even have to do so much with my religion or culture as I am not really a traditional person. I believe in God and i try not to sin. To me, sin is sin. Lying is as much a sin to me as not abstaining, so I don't even try to act like I am a saint and others are sinners as we are all sinners looking for the favour of God to make us as saintly as possible. So back to my earlier question, how old are you?

MissITKnows said...


I am 21.

I applaud your bravery. You are exactly right about the fact that we are all sinners. There is no big sin or little sin; it's all sin. That is part of what I am scheduled to discuss in a later post.

My decision to abstain has not made me feel like a "saint". In fact, it has made me very much aware of my sinful state.

I can assure you it is NOT easy. There are times when it seems like it's not going to be possible only God's grace has sustained me thus far.

Plus, I am privileged to have an amazing, supportive network of friends some of who have even made other choices but who are always there to encourage me.

Whenever, I feel an urge, I talk about it honestly with my friends. They are always quick to respond and support me. There is no judgement instead they remind me of the reasons I am choosing to wait.

Openness and honesty has been my salvation in this regard.

I hope this helps.


Anonymous said...

Hi Itunu
Ok, I agree with you and I admire your courage and bravery. I wished I had stayed true to my religion and faith rather than indulge. You said sexual felings are natural, which is true - there is always that hunger for more. I had once strayed from my faith and had indulged but now that I am trying to regain the relatonship I once had with God. Truthfully, it is hard to quench that hunger, I have prayed to God to enable me to wait till I am married. I still want to see myself as untouched but eventhough it may seem like wishful thinking, I believe that He wil set me free from my guilt and I will seecontinue to receive His blessings.

your friend.

MissITKnows said...


I appreciate your honesty. But,some of the things you said have worried me.

It seems to me that you are listening to internal and external judgemental voices.

You need to silence them.

There is no need for you to feel guilty.

We all sin daily.

Rise up, dust yourself and bear your battlescars with pride.

Shame and regret are redundant emotions.

I have my own battlescars probably more than yours and I am not ashamed of them, they make me who I am.

Whoever cannot appreciate you as special is undeserving of you.

God loves you.