Monday, 17 November 2008

Why are you so infirm?


Over the weekend, one of my girlfriends asked me a question that has made me think to the point where I have decided to write about it.




Following weeks of me complaining about one illness after the other, she aked me in all earnestness, "This babe, why are you so infirm?"




My initial reaction was to burst into hysterics. I love that word "infirm". It's a CLASSIC.




However, after thinking about it I started to ask myself the same question.




My head hurts, my muscles ache, my chest pains, fever, cough, malaise it is a never-ending barage of symptoms.




I know that the change in weather might have some part to play in all of this, but this is NOT my first winter. Something deeper might be at play.




Pyschosomatic is a phrase that readily comes to mind.




Somatisation is one of the more immature defenses of the human being.




It is simple, basic, primal.




Could it be that I am channeling my emotional uncertainties into physical illness?

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Yes He Can.


My mother was born on August 30, 1960.


On that day black people in America did not yet have the vote.


On August 29, 2008 almost 48 years to the day, Barack Obama was nominated as the presidential candidate for the Democratic Party.


For a year, my mother has devoted her life in prayer and fasting for the miracle we witnessed at 4.00am on the 5th of November, 2008.


Her generation and the generations that came before her know much better than I will ever know about the significance of this day.


Slavery, Segregation, Apartheid; they potently felt the repercussions of being judged by the colour of one's skin.


All I can bear witness to is the feeling of my success being perceived as an exception to the rule for my race.


However, today all that is over.


The inherent good in humanity has triumphed over the beast of prejudice.


Justice and liberty is truly within the grasp of all.


I am not proud just because I am black. It is much more than that, I am proud because in this moment my faith in humanity has been restored. We, as people, might not be perfect but this moment has shown that there is enough good in us to keep me optimistic for the future.


It is for this reason that I am daring to defy the cynics.


"With the help of God, Michelle and the citizens of America, Barack Obama like his fore-runner Abraham Lincoln will be one of America's greatest presidents."


Believe.


Yes he can.


Sunday, 2 November 2008

Obama, Obama, Obama, Barack Hussein Obama.


Obama has to win.

Aside from his superior judgement -as demonstrated by his premium policies and his choice of Michelle-, his inspiring persona, and his distinguished appearance (to say the least), Barack Hussein Obama has to be president because if he isn't elected, the world is in SERIOUS risk.

I do not say this lightly.

The fear that grips me at the thought of the possibility of "President Palin" is far more intense than my fear of my mother!

If John McCain is elected, there is a significant chance that he might not survive his first term. I mean God forbid his cancer returns or worse still -but in my expert opinion not less likely-, a moose hunting accident occurs in the forests of Alaska.

These are harsh realities but realities nonetheless.

I do not have the power to vote but for those of you who do;

Consider yourself Batman/Catwoman with a mission to save the world from an invading, lip-stick-wearing, pit-bull.

Obama/Biden '08 in the mighty, unblemished, all-powerful, name of Jesus!

Can I get an AMEN?

Revisiting Self-Sabotage - Part 2


Sometimes I am overwhelmed with an intense desire to externalise the hysteric.

This is usually brought on by any affront to my biggest insecurity which is simply that: I am not enough.

  • I am not pretty enough
  • I am not intelligent enough
  • I am not interesting enough

(The third being the most potent)

When I am in a situation where I perceive myself to be inadequate in one of these areas, my hysteric is empowered and in an attempt to compensate for the deficit, I grossly enlarge -almost to the point of caricature- another aspect of myself in a self-destructive manner.

I am aware that it all boils down to self-love, and I have definately improved in this area -since I learnt to accept and love my humanity- nevertheless, I am not all I could be, I do not work hard enough to maximise my potential and I resent that.

However, instead of changing my lackadaisical attitude, I seem to prefer gravitating towards activating the hysteric.

This is rather typical of human behaviour, we know what is good for us, but we prefer to do what is bad hence the number of overweight, alcoholic, chain-smoking, gun-toting, McCain supporting, couch potatoes.

However, it has become apparent that in order not to jeopardise my future, -ambitions, responsibilites and relationships-, it is imperative that I deal with these baseline insecurities and change this behaviour pattern.

It is going to be a battle.