Mademoiselle, que voulez-vous?

This might well turn out to be the most unoriginal post I will ever write, but please bear with me.



After writing and deleting so many times, I’ve realised that I will not know what I want until I’ve found it.



However, I can tell you what I don’t want.



None of these arrogant, bad boys thank you very much! It’s a cover up for gaping holes in personality, self-esteem, equipment and wit; frankly, I don’t buy it.



None of these "Hyper-Spiritual" Christians either. Loving God should not equate with being hypocritical and judgemental. Lord knows what they are hiding!

The Sex Files: Part 3 - The Hallelujah

Though it really shouldn’t, it surprises many to know that I am pro abstinence.

I see the disappointed or shocked looks amongst the liberals and the disbelief amongst the conservatives whenever I voice this thought.

That is why it is crucial for me to reassert that I don’t judge those who differ with me on this point; my friends will testify to this.

I crave your indulgence to follow my reasoning:

As previously established, no sexual urges are unnatural. Regardless of society’s view, all human sexual behaviour is natural.

Consequently, within the spectrum of human sexual behaviour, anyone is capable of anything.

You might think to yourself, “That’s impossible I could never do this or that!” but, remember that this very opinion is a judgement ingrained by your religio-socio-political upbringing.

In a different context; you never know what you might be capable of.

Back to my point,

Sexual urges, like any of our other mammalian urges such as the need for food and water, can never be completely satisfied. It can be temporarily satiated but once that begins it can never be quenched; this is the natural design and a slippery slope that I feel unable to manoeuvre.

On the other hand, sex tied to the emotion of love is much more than satisfying a basic need. It is an expression of something deep, something special, and something lasting.

This is the reason for the Creator’s instruction.

He wants us to experience the Hallelujah* in all of its glory!

I can’t wait...

Actually I can, and I will by His Grace.

*To catch a glimpse: Listen to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.

In Part 4, which I will release in a couple of days, I will be discussing homosexuality and the gay marriage debate. Don’t even try and guess my opinion cause unless you’ve heard me speak on the issue; you can’t!

Until then, ruminate on these things while I return to lighter issues.

The Sex Files: Part 2 – The Urge

One of the first things people notice about me is that I’m a bundle of contradictions.

At this age, with my diverse background it is impossible for me not to be.

The youthful human soul is dynamic; it is constantly searching for truth.

This is especially true in the quest for sexual understanding.

Many times the truth revealed by the body and the spirit are contradicting; sending the soul into deep confusion.

This is why I eschew labels.

I am unqualified to cast judgement; I can only deliver my present thought.

I am a woman, my sexual desires, though different, are just as potent as any man.

It is a lie that women can control their sexual urges better than men.

However, female sexuality and feminity in general as appraised by present society puts women in a position such that they have a lot more to lose if they follow through on every urge or fancy.

Part 3 will follow shortly.

The Sex Files: Part 1 – Establishing the Context

Consider a normal distribution curve of human sexual behaviour.

The space under the graph represents the entire human population. The dividing line is society’s arbitrarily placed division between right (sex in a committed relationship) and wrong (sex outside of a commited relationship, indiscriminate sexual activity with multiple partners, homosexuality, bestiality, paedophilia, etc).

For the purpose of simplicity, let us assume that the left side of the curve is wrong and the right side is right.

Majority of human beings will be concentrated near the border between 1 and -1 – statisticians tell me that this accounts for approximately 67%.

Important Extrapolations:

Natural: Any trait found within the entire spectrum of human behaviour.

Unnatural: Does not exist. All exhibited human behaviour including those at the extremes is natural.

Confounding Factors:

• The existence of the supernatural forces; good (God), evil (Satan).
• The human need for labels & acceptance.
• The placement of the dividing line keeps changing with each new generation.

Definitions:

Body: The Physical Entity

Mind: The Reasoning Faculty

Soul: The Decision Maker

Those amongst you familiar with Alfred Kinsey's work on sexuality might recognise some similarities here. Therefore, I must clarify that I am not trying to describe something half as complicated as his theories. At this juncture I have not yet introduced my view-point; I am merely using logic, simple statistics and definitions to establish the context for my discussion.

The merits and demerits of Kinsey's work is not something I will be discussing in this series.

Part 2 will follow shortly.

Introducing the Sex Files...

Tomorrow, I will begin a series on sex and sexuality.

As a Christian, a woman, a medical student and an African, I will discuss issues ranging from the sex before marriage debate to homosexuality to sexually transmitted diseases.

This will not be a rehashing of already well-established opinions; this will be my real, honest and sincere thoughts.

Dust to Dust

It is difficult to write or speak about the things that really matter.

Most people shirk away from the drudgery and indifference that are the primary reality of our twenty-first century daily existence.

Work, TV, fashion, clubbing, socialising, gossip, reading, music, blogging; anything to disengage from self-reflection and the brewing dissatisfaction it creates.

I have come to realise that the human penchant for 'more' is part of our creative design and is therefore, not intrinsically negative.

Self-reflection is essential to maintain sanity. Dissatisfaction is essential for progress.

However, at the crux of the matter, the truth is: It's all DUST.

Our lives, our loves, our work, our world are a drop in the sands of time.

This is why the importance of living, really living, cannot be overstated.

I sometimes go through periods where I am existing as a half-life; breathing, eating, speaking to sustain my body but disengaged in mind and spirit. Perhaps, it is important to mention that these always correspond with a low in my faith walk.

It usually takes a while for me to recognise that I am in a rut and this realisation only comes with honest self-reflection. This is a deeply personal experience and most of the people closest to me never notice.

Following realisation, I should immediately call out to God to breathe a new life in me and restore passion and energy within but, I seldom do this first.

Instead, I analyse and analyse and analyse prolonging my restlessness until I am honest enough to tackle the root of the issue which is invariably my yearning to sustain a better relationship with God.

It is then I call out to God.

In my limited life experience, the only thing that seems able to completely satisfy is God.

Mad Men

At present, I cannot do it descriptive justice, I will attempt to do so when Season 2 ends.

For now, all I will say is that I have never been more intellectually engaged by a TV serial.

This is not hype.

Watch it for yourself and you will see what I mean.

Important Announcement

It appears I have my first critic, I am now officially a writer /blogger.

Please spare a millisecond from your busy lives to take the little survey situated to the bottom right corner of my blog title. Your input, positive or negative, is much appreciated.

Furthermore, if you wish to elaborate on your opinions feel free to comment or e-mail me.

The Fall of Wo/Man.

I feel the need to expantiate on the 9th point of my previous post.

This is not rocket science.

If you close your eyes take a leap and free fall, the laws of physics dictate that at some point you are going to land on the floor, more often than not head-first. When your eyes open and really SEE who is lying beside you, you might not like what you see.

Be wise; know exactly when, where and to whom you give your heart.

Petition to Ban Fairytales

Inspired by an idea from my sister.

To whom it may concern,


For the following reasons we hereby request that fairytales be banned from the surface of the earth:

1) 99% of women on earth are not princesses and never will be, regardless of what their fathers have said to them!

2) There are very few beautiful and kind women; those attributes are usually mutually incompatible.

3) Chivalry is dead and gone to its grave.

(Men of today are too chicken to save themselves, much less another)

4) Even if chivalry was alive it should be murdered because it is a misogynistic concept based on the fact that women need saving; we can assure you, they do not!

5) We have searched high and low for a happily ever after and have found none.

6) There is a very thin, almost non-existent, line between good and evil and most earthlings linger at this border!

7) The blonde, beautiful, skinny princess has created the blonde, beautiful, skinny model which in turn has created the brunette, plain, overweight anorexic/bulimic teenager.

8) They deceive naive girls into thinking that if they sit pretty and wait, "he" will magically find them. This has resulted in an army of bitter and confused 40-something spinsters.

9) They have conviced generations that to be happy one must fall in love but, they never warn about the searing pain that follows when one hits the ground head first!

10) The expectations they create are the leading trigger for many psychiatric disorders, individual disatisfactions and general societal unhappiness.

In conclusion, it should be considered child-abuse to read fairytales to innocent children about to fall asleep. While they might be be entertaining in the short term, they leave a trail of emotional terror and destruction.

Fairytales should be viewed as a potent threat to modern civilisation and thus be completely eradicated from society.

Apparently, I'm a Guardian!

My friend Christiana, who by the way writes an AMAzing blog (http://www.christianaa.blogspot.com/), sent me a link to the ethicability DNA test -https://www.ethicabilitytest.org/user/welcome.php, I took it and it turns out that I'm a guardian and a protector of the law who believes in doing what is right as dictated by societal norms and customs.

I like to think of myself as someone who shakes things up and does not buy into the "put everything into boxes and call everything or everyone that is not like you evil and strange" mentality of our societies. Consequently, my first reaction was to refuse to accept that description. My liberal and open-minded morality can hardly be classed as attributes held by a guardian of the law.

However, the more I thought about it, I realised that my liberal thinking is primarily conceptual and resides in my utopic mental framework. My reflexive thinking patterns and responses are based on the African and Christian beliefs which were held paramount in my upbringing and that I still rely on today though in a less rigid capacity. In that regard, therefore, it is true that I am a guardian and protector of the law.

However, I maintain that it is crucial to have a liberal thinking framework because it enables me to open my mind and break the boxes that my upbringing has placed me in.

Don't get me wrong! I'm grateful that my upbringing has given me a solid foundation but I'm even more grateful that I have developed the ability to recognise learnt biases within my psyche.

Consequently, it is true that I seek to protect the law but also and perhaps more importantly, I seek out the truth.

I am a "Guardian"; conscience nurtured by truth.

The Idiocy of Hopelessness

Uncreative individuals describe difficult situations as bleak or hopeless, but creative minds see things differently.

They see difficulty as an opportunity to outwit the odds.

It is often said, "As long as there is life, there is hope".

There is much truth to be found in this hackneyed adage.

Life gives hope and hope sustains life.

This is one of the more obvious mysteries of human existence.

Only idiots fail to recognise this.

Thankfully, you are NOT an idiot! Right?

Obama '08!

New York, New York!

When Gerard Kennedy sang "New York, New York, so good they named it twice" he was verbalising passion for the city through the eyes of a native whose love makes them oblivious and immune to the negatives.

As an outsider, my view is a lot less partial. New York is riddled with contradictions. Consider its landscape beautiful in the glow of the moonlight yet lit up with environmentally deletrious electricity. The inhabitants range from the liberal upper east-siders with their immense wealth and palatial homes in the Hamptons, to the displaced homeless looking for their next crack fix in every passing face.

Manhattan: glorious, prosperous, albeit slightly tarnished by its sometimes very unclean streets and strange smells particuarly pertinent to this olfactory-sensitive tourist, Queens: a not-quite- -so-safe haven to those looking to have families in the city, Brooklyn: the illegitimate daughter of the city - under-appreciated yet the very nerve cenre of art, history and culture, The Bronx: comes with a warning sign, but if you can survive there you can survive anywhere!

New York, New York is for the intrepid explorer, the budding fashionista, the struggling artist/e, the developing retailer, the passionate investment banker. Its not for the faint-hearted nor for those who sit waiting for something to happen. Its for those who make things happen. Though this can be said about many cities, it is never more true as it is in New York!

Those who love this city, love it despite itself. These are the true New Yorkers with the energy, passion and strength that makes this city continue to shine as a beacon of hope in our modern existence. Not because it is the cleanest, or the most beautiful or even the most technologically advanced city but because the spirit of the city, Madam Liberty, with her outstretched arm, proudly declares, "No matter who you are, wherever you come from, there is a place for you here in New York, New York!"

Let them have CARROT CAKE...

In 1967 in the rabbit kingdom, there was a meeting of the leaders of the eight powers that were.

They talked about their fat wives, they talked about their greedy mistresses and they talked about their disappointing kids.

Finally, in passing, they talked about the alarming population growth in their respective districts especially amongst those ignorant, good-for-nothing, ghetto-dwelling, faith-clinging, fast-breeding brown and white rabbits; especially those damned brown rabbits who think that they deserve the same rights as the white rabbits!

Something had to be done...

Seeing as none of them were intelligent enough to think for themselves, they called on their advisers with degrees from Burvard, Bale and other Burrow League institutions and they as all academics do began to look in the history books for inspiration.

They found it in the words of one of the wisest woman who ever lived. Her name was Rabbite Antoinette and when faced with a similar uprising amongst the lower echelon of society she famously said, "Let them have Carrot Cake". Unfortunately, her words were unheeded and the upper class in that district were destroyed by the peasants.

The advisers were astounded by the brilliance of her suggestion in the light of current scientific knowledge. Carrot cake is poisonous in excess but, these ignorant rabbits are too dumb to be aware of this fact. They explained this to the leaders and they not wanting to repeat the mistakes of the past, immediately implemented a plan.

"Feed them carrot cake, saturate them with it, let them feed it to their kids. Let all of them get addicted to it.

It might take a couple of decades but, it will wipe them out!"

And thus began the obesity epidemic...

WARNING: Rabbits beware of carrot cake... eat carrots instead!

Spring Awakening!

Two nights ago, I saw Spring Awakening on Broadway.

To be absolutely honest, it was not a musical with which I was familiar. In fact, it was one of my friends who suggested it when we began the discussion about going to see a Broadway show. Initially I was hesitant, because I have been longing to see Wicked! for a while now and was looking for an opening to suggest it to the group, but then my friend mentioned that Spring Awakening had received 7 Tony Awards last year and that made me a lot less hesitant.

The thing about my confidence in the Tony Awards is that while one cannot completely exclude the lack of bias in any major award, the Tony's allow for a wide range in creative styles, company size and budget. Consequently, their selections are usually a truly rewarding theatrical experience.

We arrived early and I immediately noticed that the stage set took up only a third of the possible space and that there was seating for members of the audience on both sides of the stage. At this point I was still unsure about the time and place setting of the musical so I looked into my PLAYBILL and read that it was set in Germany in the 1890's. From my previous experiences of theatre, that description seemed slightly suspect as the stage setting looked too bare for a period piece. I was further confused when the 6 or 7 members of the musical ensemble came on to the back of the stage; they looked more like a rock band than an orchestra.

Finally, the lights in the crowd began to dim and on the stage was a girl standing on a chair singing with a voice that glistened with the purity of childhood that yearns to understand the changes that come with adolescence.


I will continue this later.

The Importance of Being Honest.

Lies are like bricks.

As they come out from you they begin to build a wall that separates you from reality.

Lies come in all shapes and sizes

The biggest ones are the ones you tell to yourself about who you really are.

We must take care that our lies do not become an insurmountable structure that imprisons us and causes us to live a half-life; neither here nor there.

Waiting to Exhale...

For months I have being constrained
My thoughts have been captive
My voice has been censured

I cannot scream; I can barely breathe
My lungs are feeble

I am sustained only by my connection to the lifesource

I am in limbo suspended between the conscious and the unconscious

Here in present state, I lie and wait

Until I find the strength to break the amniotic sac that engulfs me

and finally...

EXHALE!

Brigerians

It is unlikely that you would have heard this term used previously but it is almost certain that once you finish reading this you will be able to spot one of these breed of people from afar:

TO be a Brigerian you must:

a) be a snob.

b) have gone to school in Nigeria for at least a year and have an embarrassing childhood picture tagged on facebook to prove it.

c) have schooled in an English Boarding school for at least two years and have a pretty convincing British accent to prove it.

c) at some point in your life pretended to eschew other Nigerians and what they stand for by finding some "alternative" form of expression in either music, fashion, hair styles, film, TV, literature and my personal favourite; art!

d) claim to hate "Nigerian" parties but yet have been to at least two this year alone!

e) go to Nigeria almost every Christmas and hang out exclusively with other Brigerians while you are there; creating a Brigerian microcosm.

f) be able to hang out with both British and Nigerian people comfortably, nevertheless though you will be hard-pressed to admit it, you are MOST comfortable with other like-minded Brigerians.

g) have at least one Brigerian which between you there is beef or a mutual dislike for no apparent reason. Actually that is not quite true the reason you don't like him or her is because they are better Brigerians than you!

h) believe that mixed-race people are the ultimate Brigerians which makes you either intrinsically beef them or suck up to them.

i) feel uncomfortable when you meet or hear about an unknown Brigerian as you think with all confidence that you know every Brigerian that should be known.

j) have seen or modeled in one of those "fashion shows" that claim to be unique but in actuality recycle already well established designs tweaked by using african prints or textures.

A few salient points:

Brigerians are chameleons they are able to quickly adapt into any new surrounding nonetheless at some point their reptilian qualities will be revealed.

Brigerians generally desire the finer things in life and would always choose the path of least resistance. Now the crucial issue to determine is whether the money they spend was meant to ensure that some poor geezer in Ukpo district of Imo State in Eastern Nigeria does not die in a road traffic accident or NOT. Which brings me to my final point.

Before you drink champagne or Grey Goose at the table of a Brigerian be very very sure that you are not by proxy drinking the blood of dead poor people in Nigeria.

My writing phobia.

Whenever I begin to write, I seldom have a concrete idea of what I want to say. But, as I start thoughts begin to collate and order themselves in an organized manner such that writing brings me clarity and freedom from the chaotic disorder of jumbled thoughts that occur in my mind.

If this is so why don't I write more? I started this blog in April with the intent of writing something at least every week in order that I might have a more ordered thought life. However, this did not happen.

I love writing. I really do but, I am too critical of myself to accept much of my writing which I consider substandard. Most times when I write something and re-read it, it screams amateur to me and this rejection of my written word starts a chain reaction which disengages me from the process of writing.

I don't want to start because each time I write I disappoint myself or rather my estimation of what my writing should be.



However, as I have previously mentioned, writing is the best way for me to find out what I am really thinking.

Consequently, by extrapolation perhaps being too afraid to write means that I am too afraid to face my thoughts and ultimately, myself.

Break the Effing Cycle!

I am learning from my limited life's experience that most of my dramas are self-created.

My decisions and actions are my choice. I am a critically thinking individual therefore before these are carried out, I am usually aware of the possible repercussions.

Nevertheless, I ignore reason on a fantastical hope that each time my actions would not produce a reaction...

I have come to realize that I subconsciously purposely do this because the backlash is usually a more interesting story and I like to tell stories.

I am not refuting the fact that Shit happens; cause it does.

However the point is, MissITKnows, 70% (a conservative estimate) of the negative things that happen to you could have been avoided.

You let it happen because you crave drama,
you crave drama because you have limited self-confidence,
you have limited self-confidence because you have believed a lie
you believed the lie because you were a child and children are gullible.

But... You are now NO longer a Child... you are an ADULT... accept yourself as perfectly crafted by your creator and BREAK THE CYCLE... it is tearing you apart and holding you back from fulfilling your destiny.

Drama Queen this is not an accusation... this is a WAKE-UP call...

Hear it!