Monday, 17 November 2008
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Sunday, 2 November 2008
Obama has to win.
Aside from his superior judgement -as demonstrated by his premium policies and his choice of Michelle-, his inspiring persona, and his distinguished appearance (to say the least), Barack Hussein Obama has to be president because if he isn't elected, the world is in SERIOUS risk.
I do not say this lightly.
The fear that grips me at the thought of the possibility of "President Palin" is far more intense than my fear of my mother!
If John McCain is elected, there is a significant chance that he might not survive his first term. I mean God forbid his cancer returns or worse still -but in my expert opinion not less likely-, a moose hunting accident occurs in the forests of Alaska.
These are harsh realities but realities nonetheless.
I do not have the power to vote but for those of you who do;
Consider yourself Batman/Catwoman with a mission to save the world from an invading, lip-stick-wearing, pit-bull.
Obama/Biden '08 in the mighty, unblemished, all-powerful, name of Jesus!
Can I get an AMEN?
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with an intense desire to externalise the hysteric.
This is usually brought on by any affront to my biggest insecurity which is simply that: I am not enough.
- I am not pretty enough
- I am not intelligent enough
- I am not interesting enough
(The third being the most potent)
When I am in a situation where I perceive myself to be inadequate in one of these areas, my hysteric is empowered and in an attempt to compensate for the deficit, I grossly enlarge -almost to the point of caricature- another aspect of myself in a self-destructive manner.
I am aware that it all boils down to self-love, and I have definately improved in this area -since I learnt to accept and love my humanity- nevertheless, I am not all I could be, I do not work hard enough to maximise my potential and I resent that.
However, instead of changing my lackadaisical attitude, I seem to prefer gravitating towards activating the hysteric.
This is rather typical of human behaviour, we know what is good for us, but we prefer to do what is bad hence the number of overweight, alcoholic, chain-smoking, gun-toting, McCain supporting, couch potatoes.
However, it has become apparent that in order not to jeopardise my future, -ambitions, responsibilites and relationships-, it is imperative that I deal with these baseline insecurities and change this behaviour pattern.
It is going to be a battle.
Sunday, 26 October 2008
- IDENTITY: Who am I?
- DESIRE: What do I want?
- PURPOSE: Why am I here?
and the options for the paths are:
- To conform with what is expected of by family, peers, teachers, the world (easiest)
- To rebel against all expectations - contrary for contrary sake (stupidest)
- To seek an individual path honestly - recognising the need for guidance when necessary, but at all times being true to self (hardest)
Who am I?
I am in the middle of my crossroads and therefore, I have no idea what the answer to this question is.
It was rather unsettling to realise that at 21 I am still unsure of my identity.
I know what I am...
- I am Christian
- I am human
- I am female
- I am black
- I am Nigerian
- I am Yoruba
- I am a sister
- I am a daughter
- I am a friend
- I am a medical student
- I am an avid reader
- I am a film-lover
- I am a budding writer
- I am an amateur vocalist
- I am British-educated
but This is WHAT I am not WHO I am.
While, all of these things in some part might contribute to who I will eventually realise they I am, they are NOT definitive of me. Regardless of what others might be predisposed to think.
I know that for certain.
The path to realising identity is riddled with uncertainties therefore, realising without a shadow of a doubt that WHAT does not equal WHO is a step in the right direction.
It is not something of shame to experience an identity crisis, it is part of the maturing process.
It will pass (gam zeh ya'avor) and when I am finally able to answer this question and the other two questions of Desire and Purpose -which I will be discussing in later posts- I will finally able to leave the "crossroads" zone and start to honestly seek my individual path.
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
In Hebrew folklore, there is a story that tells of King Solomon's search for the cure for depression.
The wisest man that ever lived was at a loss when it came to handling the moods of intense sadness that assuaged him from time to time. Therefore, he called all his advisers and instructed them to think of a solution to his problem.
After months of deep meditation, they came up with an idea.
"Great King, make for yourself a ring inscribed with the following: 'this too shall pass'. Wear it always".
Solomon did what they advised and everytime he felt his mood start to change for the worse he would look upon that inscription and his mood would lift.
As this story is not recorded in the bible, I do not know whether it occurred or not.
However, real or imagined, it resonates across the millenia to me.
In my dark hours, I hold on to the irrefutable truth in the story.
גם זה יעבור - (gam zeh ya'avor)
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Nevertheless, it must be tightly policed by reason in order that it not become the driver of the human vehicle. Instead, it should remain firmly belted, in the child seat, at the rear, such that the vehicle does not find itself in a destination of macabre destruction of the soul and body.
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
- In my attempt to be real, I must be real to myself and not the cause of reality.
- Being yourself does not mean you should over-analyse all your actions; it is OK to just have fun.
- Know what each individual you associate with is: Acquaintance, Friend or "True Blood". I know that these categories are dynamic however, it is crucial never to overestimate. Enjoy each for what they are!
- If you are talking too much then, all is NOT well; there is an inner hole you are trying to fill. Learn to listen. (This was a hard truth to swallow)
- Do not judge people solely based on your own experiences with them. It is disrespectful to the complexity of human behaviour. People change, people grow, people are different in different circumstances; I have had a personal revelation of this recently.
- Change comes from within, your external environment should be irrelevant.
- Do not expect overnight redemption, as I have said before this is a journey, 2 steps forward, one step backward...
Tuesday, 16 September 2008
This morning after watching the most recently released Gossip Girl episode following a period of great anticipation, I looked at myself in the mirror and remarked, "Itunu, you have no shame!"
Sunday, 7 September 2008
Saturday, 30 August 2008
Friday, 29 August 2008
I feel honoured, privileged and blessed to be able to witness the happenings during the last four days half-way around the world in Denver, Colorado.
Yes, we can!
I know that a renewed army of believers of all ages, races and religions will be behind them carrying on the battle and actualising the message of hope flowing from Washington to homes, schools and communities from the state of Alabama to the state of Wyoming.
However, in addition, right beside them, flanking them on the left and right, to buoy them along, will be the spirits of Jefferson, Adams, Douglas, Truth, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy, King, Parks, and all of the great Americans whose journeys gave birth to this journey.
Thursday, 14 August 2008
- I must NEVER lie to myself. The danger of lying to oneself is to lose awareness and insight into one's condition and sink into a situation of such depravity that it will be next to impossible to find the exit.
- I need to be certain of and confident in who I am. Taking offense is a stage in the drama-seeking cycle of the immature and insecure. It is impossible for one who is completely HONEST and SECURE within him/herself to be INSULTED. Nothing anyone says can make such people take offense because they are certain of who they are.
A bien tot.
Monday, 11 August 2008
I am currently going through this pruning process and it is very difficult because I love these friends that I have to let go. However, as in romantic relationships, I have learnt that love is not enough.
The pit-fall in this process is bitterness. I am being very careful not to allow bitterness to creep in because it will nullify all that I desire to achieve. I am trying to take it one step a time however, as a wise friend has highlighted to me, it is more likely to be three steps forward, two steps backwards, but at least I will be making progress :-)
Saturday, 9 August 2008
It is true that it is still not quite clear what organism; viral or bacteria was responsible for his infection. However, from my perception and experience as a medical student, I have always thought of pneumonia as a disease that kills the really young, the really old or the severly immuno-compromised. I do not know what has happened in the case of Bernie Mac, because he had also suffered from sarcoidosis, an immune system disorder (though it is said to have been in regression) but his death is a good time as any to sound the alarm; deaths from bacterial infections are steadily rising!
Bacteria both out-evolve and out-reproduce us; they WILL have the advantage in a face-off battle for survival. I am no prophet of doom but, maybe this is inevitable. The resources on earth cannot sustain the exponential human population growth for much longer; something drastic needs to occur to slow it down. Perhaps this might be it.
I am aware that in the last couple of days my posts have had an even stronger didactic tone than usual. This blog is titled MissITKnows and on first view one might wonder what right I have at the age of 21 to make such an arrogant claim.
However, to those who have remained faithful to reading this blog, I hope that what has become apparent is that my claim to "know" is actually a reflection of an earnest desire to discover deep truths about myself and the world around me through my writing.
I have already discussed in an earlier post how thinking and writing are synonymous activities for me.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
I hate Times Square.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
- I do not guage the lack of response to this post as an indication of lack of care about this issue rather I am going to interprete it to mean that this topic is too far removed from the day to day existence of the readers to cause a response and that is fair enough.
Monday, 4 August 2008
In his frustration, he turned to us and said, "Enough about the Brigerians, already!" This resulted in serious laughter from myself, my sister and other passengers on the bus and since then the phrase has stuck.
SO there you have it, the Brigerian phrase was coined by an African-American. How ironic...
I wrote it after a long day in class and an even longer commute home. I was just really glad to be home and writing this list seemed to encapsulate that mindset. Consequently, while this might not be my best piece of writing, it is still my writing. Furthermore, I am truly grateful that I am richly blessed to enjoy these simple pleasures in life and soo much more.
- The first cooling breeze of the air-conditioner when you get home after a long day in the sun.
- A stop where the carriage empties during rush hour.
- Your first bite into that burger or schwarma after a great night out!
- A shower.
- Finding a 20 pound note/dollar bill in a bag you barely carry.
- The first sip of a glass of cold water.
- A baby's smile directed at you.
- Randomly bumping into an old, dear friend with whom you did not mean to lose contact.
- His first text/call following the introductory meeting.
- A great night in with the girls filled with uncontrollable laughter!
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Saturday, 2 August 2008
Deal with low self-esteem and you will eradicate the green-eyed monster that lurks beneath.
There is a monster in us all. Whether it be green-eyed(envy), red-eyed(anger) or blue-eyed(lust). In times of provocation, humiliation, boredom and dissatifaction, it tends to rear its ugly head.
Maturity = controlling the monster.
For those of you who are victims of the green-eyed monster -which is the most commonly observed amongst women- I know its hard to accept but, in a twisted way it is actually a compliment.
It is understandable that you might feel that the perpetrators deserve nothing from you however, you WILL be the better person if you show them sympathy and understanding instead of vengeful animosity.
Remember, there is a monster in us all.
This is another one of life's more obvious mysteries.
PS This is VERY important: Ladies, RUN AWAY from a man who cannot control his red-eyed monster; he is a LOSER and a LIABILITY... YOU are way to GOOD for that!
Friday, 1 August 2008
- PS If you watch the movie look out for Casey Affleck; he was also AMAZING in his role. He is a far superior actor to his brother.
Thursday, 31 July 2008
This might well turn out to be the most unoriginal post I will ever write, but please bear with me.
After writing and deleting so many times, I’ve realised that I will not know what I want until I’ve found it.
However, I can tell you what I don’t want.
None of these arrogant, bad boys thank you very much! It’s a cover up for gaping holes in personality, self-esteem, equipment and wit; frankly, I don’t buy it.
None of these "Hyper-Spiritual" Christians either. Loving God should not equate with being hypocritical and judgemental. Lord knows what they are hiding!
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
I see the disappointed or shocked looks amongst the liberals and the disbelief amongst the conservatives whenever I voice this thought.
I crave your indulgence to follow my reasoning:
As previously established, no sexual urges are unnatural. Regardless of society’s view, all human sexual behaviour is natural.
Consequently, within the spectrum of human sexual behaviour, anyone is capable of anything.
You might think to yourself, “That’s impossible I could never do this or that!” but, remember that this very opinion is a judgement ingrained by your religio-socio-political upbringing.
In a different context; you never know what you might be capable of.
Back to my point,
Sexual urges, like any of our other mammalian urges such as the need for food and water, can never be completely satisfied. It can be temporarily satiated but once that begins it can never be quenched; this is the natural design and a slippery slope that I feel unable to manoeuvre.
On the other hand, sex tied to the emotion of love is much more than satisfying a basic need. It is an expression of something deep, something special, and something lasting.
This is the reason for the Creator’s instruction.
He wants us to experience the Hallelujah* in all of its glory!
I can’t wait...
Actually I can, and I will by His Grace.
*To catch a glimpse: Listen to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.
In Part 4, which I will release in a couple of days, I will be discussing homosexuality and the gay marriage debate. Don’t even try and guess my opinion cause unless you’ve heard me speak on the issue; you can’t!
Until then, ruminate on these things while I return to lighter issues.
At this age, with my diverse background it is impossible for me not to be.
The youthful human soul is dynamic; it is constantly searching for truth.
This is especially true in the quest for sexual understanding.
Many times the truth revealed by the body and the spirit are contradicting; sending the soul into deep confusion.
This is why I eschew labels.
I am unqualified to cast judgement; I can only deliver my present thought.
I am a woman, my sexual desires, though different, are just as potent as any man.
It is a lie that women can control their sexual urges better than men.
However, female sexuality and feminity in general as appraised by present society puts women in a position such that they have a lot more to lose if they follow through on every urge or fancy.
Part 3 will follow shortly.
Majority of human beings will be concentrated near the border between 1 and -1 – statisticians tell me that this accounts for approximately 67%.
Unnatural: Does not exist. All exhibited human behaviour including those at the extremes is natural.
- The existence of the supernatural forces; good (God), evil (Satan).
- The human need for labels & acceptance.
- The placement of the dividing line keeps changing with each new generation.
Body: The Physical Entity
Mind: The Reasoning Faculty
Soul: The Decision Maker
Part 2 will follow shortly.
As a Christian, a woman, a medical student and an African, I will discuss issues ranging from the sex before marriage debate to homosexuality to sexually transmitted diseases.
This will not be a rehashing of already well-established opinions; this will be my real, honest and sincere thoughts.
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Most people shirk away from the drudgery and indifference that are the primary reality of our twenty-first century daily existence.
Please spare a millisecond from your busy lives to take the little survey situated to the bottom right corner of my blog title. Your input, positive or negative, is much appreciated.
Furthermore, if you wish to elaborate on your opinions feel free to comment or e-mail me.
Monday, 28 July 2008
To whom it may concern,
For the following reasons we hereby request that fairytales be banned from the surface of the earth:
1) 99% of women on earth are not princesses and never will be, regardless of what their fathers have said to them!
2) There are very few beautiful and kind women; those attributes are usually mutually incompatible.
3) Chivalry is dead and gone to its grave.
(Men of today are too chicken to save themselves, much less another)
4) Even if chivalry was alive it should be murdered because it is a misogynistic concept based on the fact that women need saving; we can assure you, they do not!
5) We have searched high and low for a happily ever after and have found none.
6) There is a very thin, almost non-existent, line between good and evil and most earthlings linger at this border!
7) The blonde, beautiful, skinny princess has created the blonde, beautiful, skinny model which in turn has created the brunette, plain, overweight anorexic/bulimic teenager.
8) They deceive naive girls into thinking that if they sit pretty and wait, "he" will magically find them. This has resulted in an army of bitter and confused 40-something spinsters.
9) They have conviced generations that to be happy one must fall in love but, they never warn about the searing pain that follows when one hits the ground head first!
10) The expectations they create are the leading trigger for many psychiatric disorders, individual disatisfactions and general societal unhappiness.
In conclusion, it should be considered child-abuse to read fairytales to innocent children about to fall asleep. While they might be be entertaining in the short term, they leave a trail of emotional terror and destruction.
Fairytales should be viewed as a potent threat to modern civilisation and thus be completely eradicated from society.
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Monday, 21 July 2008
In 1967 in the rabbit kingdom, there was a meeting of the leaders of the eight powers that were.
They talked about their fat wives, they talked about their greedy mistresses and they talked about their disappointing kids.
Finally, in passing, they talked about the alarming population growth in their respective districts especially amongst those ignorant, good-for-nothing, ghetto-dwelling, faith-clinging, fast-breeding brown and white rabbits; especially those damned brown rabbits who think that they deserve the same rights as the white rabbits!
Something had to be done...
Seeing as none of them were intelligent enough to think for themselves, they called on their advisers with degrees from Burvard, Bale and other Burrow League institutions and they as all academics do began to look in the history books for inspiration.
They found it in the words of one of the wisest woman who ever lived. Her name was Rabbite Antoinette and when faced with a similar uprising amongst the lower echelon of society she famously said, "Let them have Carrot Cake". Unfortunately, her words were unheeded and the upper class in that district were destroyed by the peasants.
The advisers were astounded by the brilliance of her suggestion in the light of current scientific knowledge. Carrot cake is poisonous in excess but, these ignorant rabbits are too dumb to be aware of this fact. They explained this to the leaders and they not wanting to repeat the mistakes of the past, immediately implemented a plan.
"Feed them carrot cake, saturate them with it, let them feed it to their kids. Let all of them get addicted to it.
It might take a couple of decades but, it will wipe them out!"
And thus began the obesity epidemic...
WARNING: Rabbits beware of carrot cake... eat carrots instead!
Two nights ago, I saw Spring Awakening on Broadway.
To be absolutely honest, it was not a musical with which I was familiar. In fact, it was one of my friends who suggested it when we began the discussion about going to see a Broadway show. Initially I was hesitant, because I have been longing to see Wicked! for a while now and was looking for an opening to suggest it to the group, but then my friend mentioned that Spring Awakening had received 7 Tony Awards last year and that made me a lot less hesitant.
The thing about my confidence in the Tony Awards is that while one cannot completely exclude the lack of bias in any major award, the Tony's allow for a wide range in creative styles, company size and budget. Consequently, their selections are usually a truly rewarding theatrical experience.
We arrived early and I immediately noticed that the stage set took up only a third of the possible space and that there was seating for members of the audience on both sides of the stage. At this point I was still unsure about the time and place setting of the musical so I looked into my PLAYBILL and read that it was set in Germany in the 1890's. From my previous experiences of theatre, that description seemed slightly suspect as the stage setting looked too bare for a period piece. I was further confused when the 6 or 7 members of the musical ensemble came on to the back of the stage; they looked more like a rock band than an orchestra.
Finally, the lights in the crowd began to dim and on the stage was a girl standing on a chair singing with a voice that glistened with the purity of childhood that yearns to understand the changes that come with adolescence.
I will continue this later.
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Lies come in all shapes and sizes
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
For months I have being constrained
My thoughts have been captive
My voice has been censured
I cannot scream; I can barely breathe
My lungs are feeble
I am sustained only by my connection to the lifesource
I am in limbo suspended between the conscious and the unconscious
Here in present state, I lie and wait
Until I find the strength to break the amniotic sac that engulfs me
Monday, 14 July 2008
It is unlikely that you would have heard this term used previously but it is almost certain that once you finish reading this you will be able to spot one of these breed of people from afar:
TO be a Brigerian you must:
a) be a snob.
b) have gone to school in Nigeria for at least a year and have an embarrassing childhood picture tagged on facebook to prove it.
c) have schooled in an English Boarding school for at least two years and have a pretty convincing British accent to prove it.
c) at some point in your life pretended to eschew other Nigerians and what they stand for by finding some "alternative" form of expression in either music, fashion, hair styles, film, TV, literature and my personal favourite; art!
d) claim to hate "Nigerian" parties but yet have been to at least two this year alone!
e) go to Nigeria almost every Christmas and hang out exclusively with other Brigerians while you are there; creating a Brigerian microcosm.
f) be able to hang out with both British and Nigerian people comfortably, nevertheless though you will be hard-pressed to admit it, you are MOST comfortable with other like-minded Brigerians.
g) have at least one Brigerian which between you there is beef or a mutual dislike for no apparent reason. Actually that is not quite true the reason you don't like him or her is because they are better Brigerians than you!
h) believe that mixed-race people are the ultimate Brigerians which makes you either intrinsically beef them or suck up to them.
i) feel uncomfortable when you meet or hear about an unknown Brigerian as you think with all confidence that you know every Brigerian that should be known.
j) have seen or modeled in one of those "fashion shows" that claim to be unique but in actuality recycle already well established designs tweaked by using african prints or textures.
A few salient points:
Brigerians are chameleons they are able to quickly adapt into any new surrounding nonetheless at some point their reptilian qualities will be revealed.
Brigerians generally desire the finer things in life and would always choose the path of least resistance. Now the crucial issue to determine is whether the money they spend was meant to ensure that some poor geezer in Ukpo district of Imo State in Eastern Nigeria does not die in a road traffic accident or NOT. Which brings me to my final point.
Before you drink champagne or Grey Goose at the table of a Brigerian be very very sure that you are not by proxy drinking the blood of dead poor people in Nigeria.
Sunday, 13 July 2008
Whenever I begin to write, I seldom have a concrete idea of what I want to say. But, as I start thoughts begin to collate and order themselves in an organized manner such that writing brings me clarity and freedom from the chaotic disorder of jumbled thoughts that occur in my mind.
If this is so why don't I write more? I started this blog in April with the intent of writing something at least every week in order that I might have a more ordered thought life. However, this did not happen.
I love writing. I really do but, I am too critical of myself to accept much of my writing which I consider substandard. Most times when I write something and re-read it, it screams amateur to me and this rejection of my written word starts a chain reaction which disengages me from the process of writing.
I don't want to start because each time I write I disappoint myself or rather my estimation of what my writing should be.
However, as I have previously mentioned, writing is the best way for me to find out what I am really thinking.
Consequently, by extrapolation perhaps being too afraid to write means that I am too afraid to face my thoughts and ultimately, myself.
I am learning from my limited life's experience that most of my dramas are self-created.
My decisions and actions are my choice. I am a critically thinking individual therefore before these are carried out, I am usually aware of the possible repercussions.
Nevertheless, I ignore reason on a fantastical hope that each time my actions would not produce a reaction...
I have come to realize that I subconsciously purposely do this because the backlash is usually a more interesting story and I like to tell stories.
I am not refuting the fact that Shit happens; cause it does.
However the point is, MissITKnows, 70% (a conservative estimate) of the negative things that happen to you could have been avoided.
You let it happen because you crave drama,
you crave drama because you have limited self-confidence,
you have limited self-confidence because you have believed a lie
you believed the lie because you were a child and children are gullible.
But... You are now NO longer a Child... you are an ADULT... accept yourself as perfectly crafted by your creator and BREAK THE CYCLE... it is tearing you apart and holding you back from fulfilling your destiny.
Drama Queen this is not an accusation... this is a WAKE-UP call...