Monday, 23 November 2009

Choose Life!

My favourite thing about last Saturday's x-factor live show was not Danii's dress which was awesome, Cheryl's hair which was ridiculous or Joe's singing which was outstanding. Instead, it was Jedward's t-shirts which said, "Choose Life" in Neon Pink letters.

There is probably some British pop culture relevance or essence to those particular choice of words that I immigrated too late to this country to be aware of! Nevertheless, I found in them my own meaning.

Being happy and living life to the maximum is a choice.

Negative thoughts, images and ideas constantly bombard our minds from internal and external sources. We cannot change that.

However, what we can change is our reaction to the negativity. We must reject them and immediately convert them to positive thoughts. We must not let them ruminate and work their destructiveness on mood and self-image.

This is obviously common sense but as always it is one thing to know and yet another thing to do.

We all know that Jedward, whilst being utterly adorable, have as much talent as Janice Dickinson's publicist! However, their choice to remain confident above all the negativity that was coming against them endeared them to me and they have become something of an inspiration.

They chose to be happy. They chose to make themselves a success. They chose to rise above negativity.

Even though they've now been voted off the show, it is clear that because of the choices they made, they will have a fabulous career in television awaiting them. And with their amazing attitude, I am certain it will stand the test of time! (At least in children's TV :-S)

Monday, 16 November 2009

גם זה יעבור

It's another season of change
And I struggle to reorientate
With the pressure to keep face.

Alongside the winds of change
Comes a yearning to gravitate
Towards the centre of my space.

As the days get cold and grey
My emotions start to flay.

Up, down, inside, out
And sometimes split apart.

Cyclothymia is my bane.

I seek solace from the pain.

First I try to drown it out using distractions as a balm
Next I try to placate it using ego as a charm

Whilst these tactics serve their purpose
Neither of them are the focus.

I have to embrace the tumult within and ride it out with complete acceptance.

This too shall pass.

Friday, 29 May 2009

End of THE Age.

On Tuesday I come to the end of THE age; I turn 22.

21 has been an amazing year! After a particularly difficult twentieth year, I celebrated my 21st with a bang, ready to throw off the weights of life that I had self-righteously picked up in periods of innocent childhood arrogance.

Straight off the back of my fabulous birthday party, I went to New York for two months in the summer. In the midst of that incredible city, I was able to discover myself in an honest, low-pressure, novel way. I became acutely aware of my strengths and weaknesses; I came to accept that my vivacious personality, my passion for life, as well as my insecurities were all a part of me. No more hiding behind masks, no more trying to fit into pre-created moulds, I came back to London ready to be my complete self to all those who were interested in getting to know me.

In this process, there had to be an overhaul of some of my previous friendship groups as I came to realise that some of those friendships were made with personas that I had created to suit them rather than the real me. Sad as it was, I had to accept that some of my ex-friends weren't prepared to be friends with a more confident, self-assured me.

Therefore, as I began the new academic year, I was very frightened of the possibility of rejection; in my head, I wondered would people be interested getting to know a random, dramatic, Nigerian girl with a questionable accent? Or would I once again face the pain of unacceptance? I mentally prepared for the worst.

I couldn't have been more WRONG! This year, I have become friends with some of the best people I have ever met. I know I am a bit much and slightly crazy but these guys have shown me unconditional love and acceptance.

As I move on to the next stage of my life, though I am still slightly scared, I am ready to face whatever life throws at me with renewed self-confidence. It's been a great year and I believe that, despite the horror of ageing, next year will be even better!

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Question of Faith???

In case you are wondering why I haven't finished my piece on the Question of Faith, the reason is that I am currently living through a spiritual avalanche in which it has become painfully apparent that the God who is, is much, much, more than anything that I've previously ascribed Him to be.

God is love. Though that might sound very simple, it is the hardest thing to comprehend especially for someone like me who was brought up in a religious environment in which what was expected of me was far more than I felt able to live up to resulting in frequent attacks of self-doubt and self-loathing that have assailed me from my childhood till now.

However, I am presently on a journey of rediscovery.

If you can, spare a second and pray for strength for me to persevere.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

The Question of Faith

Today I will begin a series of posts on a subject matter that is pertinent.

For all peoples are people of faith whether it be faith in God, faith in gods or faith in no G/god.

In this series I will discuss the necessity of faith (or a belief system) to the human compostition.

I will essay the essential components of any succesful faith.

I will question how we as individuals come to accept a certain faith.

Finally, I will share portions of my faith journey as an example.

However, to begin I will tell you a story which might resonate as familiar to some.

At this juncture, I must make perfectly care that these series of posts are not meant as a judgement on a particular faith. They are meant to evaluate the concept of faith in general.

Now for the first of my stories:

Amost 200 years ago, a man, who had previously been self-described as a fortune-finder and was publicly known as a charlatan, received a series of revelations from God. The first concerned a set of hidden plates that he was assigned to translate and the ensuing translation is the Book of Mormon. Only eleven witnesses ever saw the plates and therefore the only existing evidence of these plates is their sworn testimony. Soon afterwards, he started preaching a message of monotheism and amassed a growing band of disciples.

Following this, he received other revelations which were put together in what is now referred to as the Doctrines and Covenants. These include revelations about plural marriage and blood atonement. There were also some more documents that he claimed to have transcribed using divine inspiration and revelation. One of these has been proven by several renown Egyptologists to be an Ancient Egyptian burial document which bears no relationship to the interpretation ascribed to it by the Prophet.

The religion that was developed from the followers of this prophet now has more than 7million followers the world over.

As someone who only encountered the existence of this denomination in my teenage years, my first reaction to the story was that it was clearly fantastical. How can anyone believe this?

However, after giving it some thought I realised that the story that I hold to be the absolute truth about a carpenter who was born of a virgin and crucified in his 33rd year for an unjust cause and rose again on the third day and was seen by approximately 500 witnesses after his resurrection as he ascended into heaven might sound just as ridiculous to people who were raised within a different belief system.

Why do I believe what I believe?

Is it because it was told to me as unshakeable fact in my early, formative years?

Is it because I have to believe it to have something to hold on to in this difficult world?

How much of what I believe has been coated with human bias?

These are the kinds of questions I will be discussing. I obviously do not know all the answers I can only give my current perspective and as always that is subject to change in light of new information or experiences.

Friday, 6 February 2009

The Dream Team

It's been a couple of months since I have made any significant contribution to the blogosphere.

For those of you who read my departure post, you will remember that the primary reason I cited for taking a hiatus from blogging was that I decided I would rather actually live than continue to hypothesize about living.

This actually turned out to be the salvation I required.

Instead of my mind being a tumultous mine of random thoughts, it has become a spring -an open filter- only retaining the expedient.

In this time, I have also concentrated my efforts into my medical calling and in this regard I have been blessed to develop blossoming friendships with my firm -collectively known as:

the dream team (so named because we encompass a majority of existing socio-political labels.)

Today marks the end of "the dream team" as a tour de force at the Whit.

I shall especially miss:

GB's warmth

DB's dodgy banter

BC's smile

EJ's "Nigerian" accent

AV's hair

JWB's sincerity

I never thought it possible to have an group of entirely different but equally outstanding human beings.

I love you all and it has been a joy getting to know you.